JAIPUR: THE PINK CITY

Jaipur is cool. It's got it's issues, sure, but it's lightyears ahead of Delhi. It was just nice to be out of that place and more in the countryside of Rajasthan. They call it the "Pink City" because apparently all the buildings along the roads are painted pink, but I didn't really notice. It looked more like dirt on the walls. Regardless, we were thanking God for getting us here- it was a big step up regardless.

I'll paint the picture for you: Jaipur has a few incredible complexes, a reasonably decent town, and a lake that, for health reasons, should only be viewed- never touched. But on this lake sits an insane White Palace in the middle- appearing to float.

TOURIN' THE FORTS
Both of the fortresses (the main fort below, and the Amber Fort above) we toured were unreal. Set up on a large hill overlooking the entire countryside, the forts are larger than life. Exploring these well-maintained complexes was a treat. Fortress walls extend along the ridge of all the surrounding mountains, creating a smaller-scale "Great Wall of China". It was incredible.

After these tours, we were off to the main town palace complex- my personal favorite. Apparently the main house in one of the courtyards is regarded as the one of the "world's most beautiful buildings" by some international architectural board. That's pretty vague, but essentially it's an incredibly richly detailed building. We toured through the rest, and eventually were finished with learning for the day- given the fact that it was over 100 degrees, once again. For some reason, we felt compelled to visit a "sun dial park" next door, so we didn't give up on learning for the day. It was pretty cool, a number of huge scale sun dials- personally I'd rather use a wristwatch, but to each his own.

KAMBAKKHT ISHQ: BOLLYWOOD'S FINEST HOUR
Night came, and given that it was Friday night, it was time for some fun! In Hindi, this phrase translates to: "Go see the new Bollywood movie." So, with Mannu as our guide, we went to the movie theater for the opening night of the movie we've all been waiting for in the States: "Kambakkht Ishq". It's a big deal. So big, in fact, that they totally sold out while we were in line. We figured it was time to cut our losses and go home. But then Mannu reminded us of one important detail: Greg and I are white. Using this truth as his battering ram, Mannu pushed to the front of a crowd, spoke to a security guard, and a few minutes later, we were walking in the sold-out theater. As we took our seats, that same security guard showed up to collect his bribe money. I looked at Mannu, and Mannu just said to pay it. So we did, and that was that. We bribed our way into the opening night of a Bollywood film of which the title made no sense to us.

I don't have the time to go into the whole movie, but the basic concept is this: take everything that's wrong with Hollywood and backward American values, and package it so that over a billion people in a single country can be taught that having a "Cadillac Escalades" will make them happy, and that they can purchase anything on credit without paying it back. It was sad. It made me sad to see my country pouring filth into cultures around the world. At the same time, I'll admit it, it was pretty entertaining. Specifically, the random song/dance sequences. It was basically India's High School Musical, except with an uncomfortable amount of base sexual humor and a theater filled almost entirely with 19-year-old Indian dudes. The jokes were horrible (they were so imaginitive that in one scene the bodyguard unknowlingly drinks a shake with Viagra in it- and hilarity ensues), the acting was even worse, and though it was an Indian movie for an Indian audience, the entire movie was filmed in Los Angeles, and it has cameos from none other than Densie Richards and Sylvester Stallone. In fact, after beating up a group of rag-tag Los Angeles gangsters, Stallone even delivers the movie title line IN HINDI: "Kambakkht Ishq." ("Bloody Love").

The movie played for an hour and a half, and then the lights all came on, and I was confused. "Intermission", Mannu told us. Wow. I've never had an intermission in a movie- especially one that's this poorly done. Every one of the seriously 4,000 people in the audience gets up and goes to the drink/popcorn stand to huddle in masses that in no way resemble lines, and push their way to grab an 8-ounce coke. Then it's back in for the 2nd half. I couldn't believe how long this movie was. 3 hours later, the whirlwind of emotions that is Kambakkht Ishq comes to an end, with 19-year-old boys all over the theater standing up to dance and clap out of time to the final song.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend "Kambakkht Ishq" to anyone, but if you happen to see it, I'd enjoy hearing your thoughts.